This is Hard
I may be smiling, but this was one of the hardest things I have ever done! This pic was taken while i was on the Everwalk with Diana Nyad and Bonnie Stoll in 2017. It was the second Everwalk-this one a WALK from Boston to Cape Elizabeth Maine-20 miles every day for a week in unbelievable heat for September! Hard changes you when done intentionally, for a purpose with faith and love.
This is hard-and it’s only my second blog entry! First of all, I know nothing about word processing, Microsoft word, or any other computer program! So dear readers, you may ask “ how the hell did you ever write a book and manage to get it picked up by Amazon??? “ Scary-and rather embarrassing to admit, but-I wrote most of my posts whether for my E-prayer chain(prayers that became my book A Village Prays, my Camino de Santiago posts, and my chronicling of Warren’s journey from the boating accident in 2008 to his death in 2022-in NOTES on my phone and cut and pasted(I learned that trick!)to Face Book. That was hard too! Many nights i would be in tears trying to transfer from Notes to FB. Even now, determined to learn how to use this vehicle, I am so tempted to give up, go to Notes(on my phone no less) and just cut/paste it to here!!! But no!!! (Sally would kill me) This is the time of facing hard on my own! Oh, by the way, I don’t know how to type either! I graduated from Simmons College in 1972 and had a wonderful roommate (and friend for life) Babette-an incredibly fast- typing Business major, who liked spending time with me and therefore typed all of my English papers. Remember, this was way before being able to type and EDIT anything! Had I been forced to type all those papers, I would probably still be there! God Bless you Babs!(only I am allowed to shorten her name!)
I am pretty proud that I DID learn to compose on my phone-and occasionally even in Word on my laptop-but when i would try to print from Word, I never knew how to make the type come out bigger. It was so SMALL! So, i stayed in Notes! But look at me go now!! Here I am on Squarespace writing a blog. I still can’t type, so it’s still hard. But I will stick with it, and I hope you will stick with me as I navigate this new challenge.
2023 has been hard. I still feel Warren’s presence so deeply, but the reality of the road he had to walk(metaphorically since he had both legs amputated) reminds me of what is ahead, and sometimes that really discourages me. I am mostly a very upbeat person, but life itself IS hard, and i feel this is my life-challenge as I go forward-make Hard Worth it! Face it! Do it! Be it! Become it! Accept it!
I signed up for my 10th Marathon on December !0, 2023 in West Palm Beach so that Luke and Erin who live nearby and my precious sister who is traveling with me can come and pick up what remains of me! I always wanted to run my 10Th(and Final) marathon. Warren was with me at all of my nine others. Luke was at many, and ran Austin, TX with me. Well, not With me, since he was Way Faster, but he trained in Boston and we chose Austin to do together.
Marathons are hard. But amazing because of the discipline, time, training and commitment they require. But they change you. They soften you and toughen you at the same time. They give you Balance and Perspective and Confidence-qualities I feel will serve me well as I head into this next(and let’s be honest) final chapter of my well-lived life. I seek to be fully present for this great adventure!
I always wanted to do my 10th, but Warren’s health challenges kept mounting, and time kept shrinking. I ran Boston for my 50th birthday, had a huge party that day at the New Bedford Yacht Club. There were Hundreds of people there. Warren and Luke and my sister and so many others gave great speeches. It was a blast. So much like the euphoria of having a child look into your eyes with adoration, thus erasing all of the pain, crossing the finish line of a Marathon(regardless of your time) erases the pain of the months of training necessary to accomplish that goal. Lucky for me that i know the part of ”regardless of your time” to be true as I am so slow that when i ran New York City Marathon(my 9TH when I was 64 in 2014-yes, Warren was with me and so was my beloved rommate Babette with whom i stayed.) -I thought I was doing quite well until I looked to my left and saw a young man running, juggling 5 balls! Marathons are hard…but so worth it.
I have already confessed that I can’t type. I, apparently , can no longer run either. Take your pick for the reason here. Close to 74 by race day. Two hip replacements. Serious arthritis in the spine. SVT causing inability to BREATHE. That’s the worst!!! So I am Walking and hoping colder weather will jump-start the muscle memory of my past nine. Oh, and too bad NY was nearly 10 years ago. UGH! I still teach and do Yoga every day. I ride my Peloton. I play pickleball 3x/week. I can Walk. SO Walk I will. This is Hard. Here’s my mantra-for my upcoming LiIFE as well as for my upcoming Marathon:
Run if you can
Walk if you have to
Crawl if you must
Just FINISH
#10
And keep smiling!
